Everyone has their share of time but no one knows for certain on how much exactly is their share. Everyone is experiencing time in their own time zone.
When we think of teaching the importance of time to our kids, we often take it in a way of being punctual, not making others wait etc. but here I wish to invite your attention to a new angle of looking at the time.
Often, as adults, we find ourselves lost in the comparison of our talents and abilities with others’. These ‘others’ either are our colleagues, or classmates or just a random somebody who we know and are doing better than us.
The irony is no matter how good we are in our shoes, we are in constant comparison. This comparison gets interesting with age and situations in life. Starting from ‘she scores better marks than me’ to ‘he earns a better income than me’. There are various ranges of the basis on which this comparison happens.
When we go for our kids open days at school, it’s the figures that attract us the most! No offense dads! I meant the figures in numbers on our kid’s papers that attract us more. “How could she score 10/10 in this dictation and you just got 5! I’m ashamed to be called your father.”
On a normal day, you will often hear mothers telling their kids, “Have you seen Meena? She is such a good daughter. Be like her. You are ill-mannered. Learn from her.”
Or among siblings (this is the most rampant torture), “Look at your sister. She is such a good girl. She studies well. Doesn’t while away time as you do. You both are total opposites. Learn from her.”
On every step in our grooming we, as parents, are often finding ways to make sure our kids know the good side and they become that. We are just giving them examples to learn from, right? So it’s obvious that they should become good, the way we portray them to be.
But from what I see of today’s children, they don’t seem to match up with our expectation of them. So where exactly are we going wrong in our upbringing?
Constant comparison creates a void in the child’s mind which makes him feel he is not good enough. What we don’t realize when we are mocking our kids for getting fewer marks is that for him a 10 on 10 is not a priority, for him seeing that happiness in his father’s eyes means everything. She doesn’t judge her abilities on the basis of where she is standing among her class. She judges that she is doing fine on the basis of the approval she gets from her mother.
Everybody has their own personal ‘time zone’. When your time is right you will get there. Remember the time when you wouldn’t let your baby have a bath by herself, but you would leave all your chores and give her one? When you went in to bathe her, you taught her to scrub her body, to hold the mug, to use the geyser and to wrap the towel around herself. Observing all this she grew up, and one fine morning you made her go to have a bath herself. This fine morning, she took it as an adventure. You had an eye on her, but let she felt independent and did her chores on her own. Wasn’t it an expanding feeling to see her accomplish the task?
It’s the same. When she was old enough, she learned to have a bath herself. When she reaches that point in her ‘time zone’ she will learn to score good marks and learn to be smart and learn to keep you happy. This lesson is not only for us, parents, to learn, but it is something that we should teach our kids as well.
If somebody had taught me this time zone concept when I was in my teens, I would have spent less time admiring the beauty my sister was and would have probably been more focused on myself.
Just because someone achieves more than you, before you, doesn’t make you any smaller or late. Believe in your time zone and know when it’s your time, nothing and no one can stop you.
The importance of time doesn’t just revolve around being punctual or ‘on-time’ where ever you go, it has a wider scope and this is what our kids require to know more.